92. On The Loose

Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio,

I have been reading my letters to you and, smirking to myself, I thought, “Man, who is that chick? She’s awesome. I am falling for her, for sure.” In other words, these letters help me see myself better.

And, you know, if after reading 92 letters from me (with the average of 5 minutes per letter, that would be 460 minutes, or 7.6 hours of deep intimacy we spent together now), you are still not madly in love, like, heels over head, flat on the floor in love, something is wrong with you, mate.

I am very modest, yes, I am aware, thank you very much. Lol.

On a more serious note, I have finally conquered Mount Everest in the kitchen sink, and you can actually see the bottom of the sink. It’s stainless steel. Imagine that!

Fine. I am goofy today. Sue me.

I wish I could tell you that my headache at least subsided as my mood lifted, but nope. Same banging on my temples that makes you kind of wish that someone would just shoot you and put you out of your misery.

This morning I invested a little time in the house, as I said. Did dishes, cleaned the kitchen (which was a serious disaster), and did some laundry. Still planning to do a few things later. I was even able to set up the bread maker and the crock pot. Did I mention the 2 dishwashers I ran?

Laugh as you may, my kids and I call the dishes my eternal enemy. The times I win against that MF are very few and far between, so if I say it every 2 sentences, you will just have to bear it, mister.

I wonder if you have a beard. Hate beards. With passion. You know, all these murder-mystery shows like CSI and all that? They always analyze bugs and spores from victims’ beards. Creeps me out.

Ah. I should probably mention that I did not take my NDRIs this morning, to see if it will help the migraine. Thus, ADHD’s typical communication is in full bloom here: jumping from topic to topic and at a staggering speed. My brain feels a little like a dog that’s finally been let off the leash.

It’s almost 14:35, and I have not worked yet. I had so much work planned for this weekend, but honestly, I am working so hard on my PTSD OT that it seems to me that the highest priority should be to keep a calm flow during the day, not how much I was able to do. I am so very tempted to just forget work altogether today and rest.

Damn it, the lights are torturing me. Give me a second, hon. I’ll go turn off the lights. And I am hungry too. I think. I am not sure, lol. I am never sure when my brain is jumping like this.

You should have seen me cooking this morning. It was: I put the crockpot in, added the mung beans, and the soup powder. Then need to add water. So I do. And because I am holding the pitcher, I also fill the water filter with water, and go all the way to the living room to add water to the birds. And now, because I added the filter to the water filter, I fill my 2L water bottle. Wait, what was I doing? Right, crockpot…

Right, turn off the lights. BRB.

Done.

I mean, people call it distractions or unfocused, but honestly, I think it’s more horizontal thinking. It does make your head throb, though, when you are working “horizontally” and have so many things running at the same time, doesn’t it?

Did I ever tell you that I am as chatty as Wolfy when my ADHD is out of control? Lol. I know. It completely ruins every chance I have at looking or behaving like a gravitas-full adult. But, I mean, that’s why I write. And, unfortunately for you, as my very inner circle dude, you will take the brunt of it.

Yeah, called you a dude. Muhahaha.

I suppose you now understand why I said our relationship would be like that of a St. Bernard and a 2-year-old. I might have forgotten to mention that the 2-year-old is a severe ADHD kid, really. But honestly, you cannot expect me to be calm, collected, and decorous, especially around you.

Two calm people are a graveyard. And I am kind of a challenge-taker, so seeing you calm and poised, nothing can rattle you… I mean, you might as well print a T-shirt saying “I dare you to kill my composure”, won’t you?

The plan for today is to get some work done. Yes. I am supposed to write, proof and publish 24 business articles today. Which, let’s be honest, is not going to happen. I also forgot that I decided long ago that Saturdays are my free days, on account of me being me. And so my habit tracker is empty of tasks, and it is so tempting to just let go and rest.

Well, I hope I entertained you a smidge and made you smile. You’re gorgeous when you smile, you know that? I don’t see much of your face when I dream of you, but I do see the smile.

And of course, we can argue that sociologically and biologically, people are primed to perceive people as beautiful when they smile, so don’t look at me with that “Oh, isn’t she cute when she is off the rails” look.

Gotta go eat. 
Love you buckets. 
Always yours, 
Oxy.
June 20, 2026

Help me find him: Have you seen this man?