Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Congratulations, my love. We have officially passed the honeymoon stage in our letter journey together. I am sure that 100 letters show you that I meant what I said when I said I would write to you for as long as it takes. Honestly? By this point, and especially after... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, My brain is buzzing. My day was… high voltage. I could work right now. I probably should. It’s 21:43. I am tired. It was a harsh day today. I would rather write to you to unwind before bed. Sigh. I’ve done a lot, but there is still so much to... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, I am anxious. Of course, some of it is because of the missing NDRI day I took the day before yesterday. The system, reintroduced to the drug yesterday, just doesn’t quite know what to do with all that norepinephrine. But I think it is mostly emotional. Granted, taking 600mg of... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Remember how I told you that I forget things that work, and then find them again? I suppose I am not very unique in that aspect, am I? All of us run around spinning so many plates that, once in a while, we drop one and, being so busy with... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, I don’t have much to say, except that I miss you so very terribly tonight. I had a good day, you know? I worked for 6 hours. Ate well. Rested. Did my PTSD OT for 3 hours. All on schedule. But here I am, sitting at 21:30, not quite sure... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Before I dive into the horrible feeling I have finished the day with, let me tell you something funny. Today was Wolfy’s birthday, and, like every year, I am not sure why, but this day is very challenging for me. For some reason or another, by the time Wolfy’s BD... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Generally, I have a system for when all systems fail and or when disappointment hits hard and leaves me uninspired or, as heavily deflated as it did yesterday. First, I let myself be hit. For the first 24 hours or so, not to the minute, of course, I let myself... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Hello, my one and only. How’s your side of the Atlantic holding up? Here, the chaos feels like a pressure cooker, and I suppose I am dealing better than most. We spoke on the 9th, and I made that list and wrote you a few words, and after the Herculean... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, I am truly dreading this post. But after more than 75 letters to you, it’s time to face the facts. This is not something I am enjoying recounting, and with the looming surgery and the stress of it all, you will have to excuse me if I rush through this.... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, There is no easy way to say it, but I felt rotten inside with envy. On Thursday, I think, or maybe the day before, I searched my ex-husband on Amazon, discovering that he had not one — as Drago told me — but 3 books published. I mean, as long as I thought he... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Everything, just everything, is backwards. Where do I even begin? The $2300 tax return is gone, as if it never existed. Paid the accountant, school fees for Drago’s school book, Stallion’s farewell, and the fun fair. Booked an exterminator because the basement is crawling with bugs. Amazon cart: toilet paper,... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Sometimes, when you feel that the noise in your head is too loud, that the thoughts, the new discoveries are swirling too fast, you retreat to that private cave of yours and think. Disappearing from the world. I discovered that if I let myself, and then time allows, I do... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Hi handsome. I run to you when the ambiguity of the world gets to me. When I am lost. When what I am doing feels good but looks wrong. I’m writing. And I enjoy writing. I write 4 different blogs. Four, for goodness sake. I spent a long day questioning... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Less than 2 months ago, I was not able to sit more than 20 minutes in front of the PC, do you remember? And now, I sit for hours and hours. Writing. Feeding my soul. Equal parts guilt and pride flooding my system at all times. Because I am supposed to be a businesswoman and put... Continue Reading →
Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio, Isn’t it miraculous how doubt creeps in, in those small spaces between successes? I was completely ready to boast how well I am doing, how creatively I solved some problems, how many hours I sat writing — and then that small, tiny voice hits with devastating accuracy: Is that what you are... Continue Reading →
