22. Evil Spirit

Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio,

Good morning, my love. I hope you slept well yesterday. I know planting that image of me sitting on the armchair in your study made your bed feel a little colder. I woke up with a whimsical spirit today, that cheeky smile I rarely allow myself spread wide across my lips as I read the last line I just wrote. It has been a while since I felt the ability to share that side of me with anyone, let alone a man.

I used to tease, play, probe — when the fun was mutually accepted and fun. Gosh, I don’t even remember the last time I felt safe enough to do that with a man. Pre-marriage maybe. I don’t remember.

Same as you, I am mostly careful of how I tread and what I say. There is a lot of responsibility in being the backbone of those around you. I goof around with my kids, but that is very different, I suppose, isn’t it? This morning, I just feel your energy, I suppose.

The snake in you, the strategic human conductor, enjoys planting thoughts in people’s heads and then watching them dance. Oh, you are not mean, but you definitely enjoy it.

You want an example? Wolfy, the 7-year-old, asked me to wait until she was in a private room when we spoke on the phone yesterday. When she got there, she said, “Dad said we are not allowed to cry anymore in the house, the neighbours complained, and they would call the police on us. So, I don’t want to come to Dad’s house anymore.”

I said what I always say when she says that, because it has been a theme quite often lately — “You don’t have to, just remind me when I get everyone organized.” — and I refuse to feel the rising panic of “how will I make up for those work and recovery days?!” in my head. I don’t care. I will find a way. My baby does not have to go to his house, and if he takes legal measures to ensure she must, I will make those officials come and get her themselves. I am not sending my kid where she does not want to go.

But this was not what I wanted to tell you. My mood is everywhere. I am a day late, and the hormones are cooking my brain, haha. Yes… So, he texted me as soon as we hung up. “I did not say she is not allowed to cry, just not to scream. I don’t like the building here. I am looking for a new place.”

And for that one fleeting second this morning (a day after), while the whimsical wind was upon me, I was tempted to send him back, “You should rent a house, not an apartment. You are a married man now, after all, I am sure your wife would appreciate the space.”

Just that. Planting that thought in his head and framing it as his “duty” to his wife. Nothing more. Then make a mug of a strong, good English Breakfast tea, sit back, and watch how his marriage falls apart. See, this guy has absolutely no idea what goes into managing a house. He likes the idea of it. But the maintenance? He washed his hands of this one a very long time ago. How long do you think it would take for his lazy face to show for his new bride?

I said I wanted to, not that I did. I just found it funny that you make me feel safe enough to at least have those naughty impulses again. So, back to torturing you then, did you dream about those long white legs peeping through that robe yesterday? Did you see me in that armchair? Did you feel how I shifted your sanctuary, your safe space of escape, and claimed it? Coloured it with my existence forever?

I am not sure how I know this, but I feel comfortable teasing you. I know you will not snap or ridicule me. Because let’s be honest, how easy is it to make one trying to seduce you feel small, pathetic and insignificant.

Once, I bought a sexy red leather night… thing… haha, I am not even sure how to describe it. It was a corset and a ridiculously short skirt, where every step showed a view. Seriously sexy stuff. I wore it. It looked amazing, seriously. I was very pleased and felt… pretty. I waited for him in bed at the end of the day, and as he entered the room and turned on the light, he saw me.

And burst laughing. “What is this, Halloween?”

How many times do you think a soul can go through that experience before all whimsical spirit is chased out of you completely? Before you become cautious, safe, and self-aware to the point of being frozen?

I am not comparing the two of you, of course not. There is nothing to compare. I am just explaining why, feeling cheeky this morning, feels like another gift you gave me, even though I have not even seen the colour of your eyes yet. So, thank you, my love. Thank you for making me slowly come alive in all sorts of ways.

I should warn you, though, that I have a lot of that evil spirit in me. It’s never malicious, but if you’re truly one to play the game with joy, you should expect a lot of cheekiness. I am perfectly capable of sending you a text while you are at work, asking, “Are you in a meeting?” and when you say yes, text again, “Look at the edge of the table and think of me… bent over it.” And then laugh myself silly thinking of you hiding your reaction in a room full of your work colleagues. Haha. It makes me laugh even now.

I am perfectly capable of sending you a text on your birthday with the name of your best friend, as if sent by mistake to you, saying “Don’t forget the cake for the surprise party, it needs to feed 500 people” and think of you sweat all day, indignant, that I would dare to trap you on your birthday with 500 people and a surprise party, the audacity! I am laughing so hard my birds got startled. I don’t think they heard me laugh this hard in months.

Are you smiling yet? I wouldn’t expect a dignified gentleman like yourself to actually grant me a laugh. But you cannot stop the smile, can you?

You think I am bluffing? For the birthday of my friend, a good friend in town we spoke about before (the one who was my emotional support when I overcame my fear and boarded the plane to the Vegas business convention), a Water Dog Sagittarius. Once, for his birthday, I sent an actress to his house pretending to be his ex-lover.

I DID call his wife ahead, told her about the prank, and made sure she was safe in their love. She was a good sport, essentially cooperating and pretending to be jealous. It was magnificent. She sent me a video of the interaction (because I sent the actress to his house, didn’t I?) and the expression on his face… priceless.

I think you will like it. You are a serious man, yes, but you know how to have fun. And you have the fire in you. You might not be the one to start the whimsy most of the time, but you can definitely escalate it. I think… I think we will have fun together.

I should start my day. 
I have a lot planned for today and have already put in 2 hours of work. 
But I was thinking of you, sitting there, Sunday evening… It’s about 6 pm for you. You are probably in a pub with someone. They are talking. You are drinking some beer. All you people drink beer, don’t you? And stare at him. Your face is the perfect calibrated mask of “I am listening, but I am not overly interested”—but your mind… your mind is light-years away.

Could it be you are thinking of a certain, long, white pair of legs protruding from a soft robe, sitting smack in the middle of your sanctuary? Smiling, and not even at you? Am I getting under your skin yet, handsome?

I will write again today, 
Love you deeply by now, 
Yours and yours alone, 
Oxy. 
March 29, 2026

Help me find him: Have you seen this man?