74. Counting Wins

Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio,

It has come to my attention, dear sir, that I am becoming more and more a whining little thing and, let’s be honest, that position does not suit me. I have spent the last few weeks telling you how stressed I am, how I am not sure how I will make it. How the pressure makes me doubt what I can do. Wait, what?

Hello? Are we talking about the same chick here?

Sure. The pressure is high, the neck is at a solid 4/10 on the pain scale, the attention is marginal with the new adjustment to the NDRIs, but I have managed to stock the storage room with enough food, protein, and other supplies to get us through the next 3 months like nothing. Yes, it is definitely not the best situation for the kids and me.

But I am here. I am still standing. I am freaking creative. And it’s not only that I do my best, but I am crushing it. So many people drown in the horrors of what tomorrow might bring while missing completely how incredibly they fight here and now. So I decided to count wins today.

First of all, let’s talk about the business. Posting twice a week on the business blog for the third week now. The website still needs a lot of work, and I have no subscribers or conversions, but look at the numbers: 89 views — a growth of 154% since the previous month and 76 unique users with a growth of 138%. Here:

I actually love that there were more views than users; it means people found the content valuable enough to look at multiple pages. Now that is what you call progress, isn’t it?

The next victory would be my social media postings schedule. Now that I have finally found the proper way to make the assets and post them in the proper rotation, I have almost 900 posts scheduled ahead for the whole year:

Because of the way I post, by June 15th, I will be scheduled every day for 1–3 posts, and by September 15th, I should be (if my calculations are correct, I will need to see it closer to the date) scheduled for 5–6 posts a day per platform. Now that should have a massive impact. I hope. And, if it’s all a game of numbers, then this is when conversion should start. At least that’s the plan.

On the home front: I have kids’ schools, payments, doctors, therapists and new school registrations under control. The “Yes” discipline system is working marvellously. This morning, Piggy came to me and said, “Mom, I just read the rules again. You can lose a yes if you don’t do your daily chore?” I nod. She goes, “Oh my God! I will make sure I do my daily chores every day!”

I also cleaned and cleared the first drawer of my office desk. It’s that drawer where I keep notes, stickers, envelopes, and the rest, and it hasn’t had attention in quite a while. I will spare you the image, lol, although it is beautiful to see. Did the same with the 2 most used drawers in the kitchen.

I improved the kitchen calendar system and made it better and reusable, too. Also fixed the rules for the yes system, the kids’ charts, the chore chart, and the menu charts. Here, this one is the prettiest to see:

Yes, these are magnets.

My health is getting under control, too. Medication adjusted, all tests for the surgery are done. I am waiting for the responses and the surgery date now, and will start training again on Monday.

Writing is also planned for next week, and so far, it seems I am focusing on a multi-stage plan: once the business website reaches full conversion, I will start social media postings for this blog to push these words out there and look for you more actively. And, finishing the first book of my 30-book series, I will submit it to digital publishers.

If by the time this blog is hitting the same efficiency of posting as the business blog, the digital publishers will not pick up my book, and hopefully, having proper income by that point, I will consider posting a new blog for my books (posting a scene once a week) or studying Amazon publishing and then starting the social media machine for that too.

I just discovered that my ex has 3 books selling on Kindle. With his talent, I am not surprised that his books are selling 1–5 copies a year, I say with a smirk. When I publish, I am going to flood the damn market — there is no way my book will remain unknown.

Lastly, the house. I believe that this is the most neglected part for me at the moment, but I am doing my very best to catch up. I have set a schedule, and I am doing quite well with giving the house small pockets of attention. In January, I will move Mycroft, the budgie, back to live with Sherlock, the arthritic pacific parrotlet, hopefully — he will be past his teen years and hopefully less of a bully.

Summer is in full throttle. I just received news that the child services in our community (remember I told you about how, in Canada, several communities have their own social services?) means I might be able to enroll the kids in summer camps, so I can work more. That would be amazing, but I am completely prepared to be with Piggy if she still struggles. She did last year.

So what am I trying to say, really? That I am on top of shit. That I got this. That even if I feel like I am doing nothing, I am actually moving every single needle in the right direction. And that I am still fighting for you, even as the image and essence of you kind of evades me lately.

I feel lonely. I cannot quite feel you. I suppose it’s one of those side effects of hopelessness, because I made the plans and I am executing them — but I don’t feel or believe it will work. Thankfully, unlike what the posters and religious people want you to believe, it does not matter whether you believe or not. All that matters is that you plan realistically and then execute it.

Alex Hormozi calls it “outworking your doubt”.

I often tell you I will try to write again in the evening, but lately I drop dead after the long hours in the kitchen. Today I have a lot of cooking planned. Turkey meatballs, bread baking, Challah. And I still need to figure out supper and all the salads. And then clean up, and tomorrow we need to go to the worship place, so I probably won’t be able to write to you again this evening. But I will, for sure, write tomorrow.

I also want to acknowledge that, because of how intelligent you are and how quickly you probably triangulated me, you know what people I belong to, where I live, what I look like, and possibly even what I do for a living and my name. Let’s just say that the easter eggs I drop aren’t accidental.

As for my tribe, I do not use the identifying words but use “weekly meal”, “warland,” and “worship place” to avoid key words that will drag this narrative of you and me into spaces that I honestly do not believe it belongs. I am not religious — I told you that before. So why involve religion and politics in the space between the two of us?

I gotta go eat lunch and cook now. 
I love you in a way that is incomprehensible to me, because I have not felt you for quite a while now, yet I still drown in love for you. Everyday. Everyway. Very weird. 
All yours, Always, 
Oxy.
May 29, 2026

Help me find him: Have you seen this man?